under the moonlight,
the eyes glistening with
some fiery notions…,
you saw what I could do,
who I would be,
and yet, here we stand,
memory is like a foam of dreams,
half alive and half remembered,
your blue undertones…,
my strolling step,
soon the sky lit up,
soon the birds will yell
and fly and play and be,
do whatever the birds do,
we were doing each other,
the old russian chair screamed
of hard and powerful motions,
your heart pounding through
the roof…,
stars were stepping
on their own toes,
I scraped my knees, elbows
and some other places,
pain was mixed with pleasure,
we knew that…,
it was pre-designed, planned,
somewhat I might say,
but there was room for surprises,
later we smoked,
it left white chalk marks
over the darkness of night,
other windows showed other lives,
you got all teary eyed
over some of my poems,
like they were important
or touched some important
place in you…,
I didn’t want to remember
why I wrote them,
I dont even know
if I liked the reaction,
dont know what to expect
or desire from these Platonic
caves…,
we went from european
summer time to winter time,
I’m tired as shit,
had to get my teeth fixed,
hate that,
then you walked past me
like you dont know me
and there is much more
to be done with your day,
oooh how I hated the frustration,
but your smile covered it,
you tremble when I leave
a sign on your triangle
with the white of my fingers,
it is called the Indian kiss,
a far cousin to Eskimos kiss,
I wonder how they do
all the other nations like that,
either way you were happy,
I was content…,
didn’t see you for weeks,
maybe months,
didn’t even think about you,
I guess it makes me cold
for some people,
I myself dont think like that,
I think it is kind to give
people their space without
filling their mind-space
with expectations and missings
and projections and all
that other relational crap,
you got all watery under the bridge
where we met…,
they told me
you were like all the other ghosts,
I had to be different with you,
as a real and living boy…,
beyond the Shadows,
I touched your infiniteness,
stream of consciousness,
impenetrable wilderness,
wax-like skin, opal eyes,
blue mist hair…,
sad thoughts made into kisses,
saved by them,
you were like a loud trolley,
San Francisco cable cars,
we have to find shelter,
sky is filled with meteors
ready to fall on our heads,
crush us with the weight
of the cosmos…,
back at my place
you read some more poems,
written about you,
mixed in some past exes
and the way sausage gets made,
dirty business this art,
might as well be some pencil pusher,
out and about ye…,
ohhh how we miss the sun,
the moon, the dry leaves,
rusting on the Autumn floor,
winter holding on for dear life,
not dying on our black mud
with its white snowflakes,
there is grace in that…,
I guess,
to be soft like that,
gentle soul,
to feel unimaginable fire,
earth, water, air,
to hold your kindred spirit
like the last flame,
imperishable dusk,
dusty wind making it dance,
a walk in the graveyard,
last days of October,
soon it will be Christmas,
I wanna be alone,
New Years - still alone,
birthdays, St. John’s Day,
best alone…,
that’s when the magic happens,
also I wanna be with someone,
a special needle in a haystack,
or maybe I dont…,
maybe I’m designed
to want that,
the irrational breeding program
of the human psyche,
evolutional insanity,
shaping our core,
taking care of business,
I guess you hated me
for saying that…,
and other things,
I do say what I know,
don’t know if its always true
or wise to say,
yet I guess I’m not meant for you,
we should break up,
there is someone special
waiting for you,
and I will be here waiting for her,
the sound and the fury,
another one bites the dust,
me vs. Me…,
classic in our midst,
multitudes corresponding
with multitudes,
but love was not one of them,
it was a flaw, a fluke,
a cruel joke for the weaklings
and narrow-minded people,
I kiss you goodbye,
go to bed…,
wake up, wake again,
as someone else,
and the sun ties my shoes,
walks my legs,
breathes my lungs,
fills my life with air,
the time of wild ways,
my ways, wild days,
the ways of that Dark Material,
my wild, so wild days,
ohh harken Heart -
the wild and broken,
the minstrel of silver things.
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